The one who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger one (Japanese Wisdom)
And for most of my clients its not IQ that is a struggle in their life but rather EQ...which we are not taught in school.
Many of us can be much like the 7 dwarfs. Sleepy, grumpy, Happy, Dopey and so on... Unfortunately there is rarely a Snow White around to kiss away our troubles or overwhelming moments.
Yet as we become adults we need to take responsibility for ourselves and recognise there is the teacher of life within.
Practice being a great Observer. An observer reviews the facts...rather than reacting emotionally.
Let's take anger as an example.
So you are in peak hour traffic- and you would rather not allow another to get ahead of you. You resemble that of flaming red faced steaming overheated engine, with smoke billowing out your ears, and making all those around you cower down, or look aghast at your behaviour.
1. Ask- Is this my familiar self these days?
2. Is this me?
Because if it is you, this is not right, and it sure as hell is not necessary.
Are you willing to learn how to react better ?
Are you ready and wanting to be known as a decent human being?
As an observer can you see that-Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience
Anything that angers you is teaching you about forgiveness and understanding.
Anything that angers you doesn't mean you have to spread that anger all over someone else.
It means something within you is "out of alignment". Yet dont disappear with remorse or guilt, that's a waste of energy. There is always a higher road...seek support.
When anger speaks is generally wrong, it's an unresolved understanding of yourself , rarely is it about another- it's often fear or hurt or confusion projecting as anger.
Go somewhere that you can vent it out without harming another...
1. Sports
2.Perhaps take an anger management course.
3. Take a break, i know not always easy, but even a 5 minute walk can reset you
4. Take responsibility for yourself, without blaming others
5 Learn tools and techniques to help you self manage
6 Laugh at yourself-
Here's the kicker- You know those people who you allow to push your buttons? Once you learn to master your EQ (Emotional Quotient) or simply put yourself ,so much that you no longer care about their behavior… they disappear. You see as the emotional beings that we are, we ALWAYS have a choice and or a chance... to start again. It's as if you have a built-in, happiness-option button, which you can push to change how you feel, how you react no matter what's going on in your life. But for some they prefer not to push it. Go on, push it.. :) After all- you are leading by your example aye.
